The Other Side

Returning from my hostel after months of isolation, alienation and separation, I returned to my birth place. The first glorious face, which I saw the moment I came out of my train station, refreshed all my childhood memories and times in this awesome city. It was my driver’s. I sat down in my car, and we started talking about my newly acquired French beard (oh yes, imma bragging!). It then, eventually reached to the most talked about event in India presently, the Delhi rape case. Now before you close down this window thinking this article to be more about how wrong rapists are and how their groins should be torn out in the public, let me say that this one is absolutely different. This is the other side of the story. From the mouth of my driver, who has lived among people who believe that rape incidents occur because of the girl’s doings. And he justified it quite well too. I hope you comprehend this side well.

Gave Birth To HIS Baby

Let me start with a tale.

Kamla Devi was pregnant, everybody was happy. After nine months of expectations the fortunate day came when her water broke; a baby was going to be delivered! They rushed to the nearest government hospital, excited! But the hospital asked for money, which her family did not have, they had to go elsewhere. No hospital was agreeing to accommodate her, she searched for five days. She searched for 5 days with a dead foetus in her stomach. Her third baby died. She got pregnant again soon after that. This time during delivery, she died.

India has just recognised “Reproduction Rights” as a legal right and is the first country to do so. It recognises the basic right of all couples and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children and to have the information and means to do so, and the right to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health. It also includes the right of all to make decisions concerning reproduction free of discrimination, coercion and violence as expressed in human rights documents. In the exercise of this right, they should take into account the needs of their living and future children and their responsibilities towards the community. The citizens of countries other than India might be confounded- “If they don’t decide, then who does? The Godfather?” Well no, the husbands mostly. In a typical Indian family, the husband earns while the wife does household chores. So of course, only the husband can decide the matters of the house, amount of children THEY want, the money and facilities SHE should get, her behaviour in front of others, her number of breaths…

You’re Gay And You Don’t Know It.

I attended this conference on gay people by Nivedita Menon, Pramada Menon, Gautam Bhan (prominent activists, took the initiative of decriminalization of sex between homosexuals under 377) as a part of my law studies. The first thing that this name brought to my mind was hours of cribbing about gay rights and equality. I guess others in my batch shared the same instinct, because as soon as the word of going to the conference broke out, everybody started thinking of excuses to give for missing it. “I am Homophobic” was my personal favourite. I anyways followed the crowd and attended the conference, and it blew my mind. Their main argument was not how gays are discriminated against, their argument was how the simple identity of being gay overshadowed rest every identity. So if a person says “I am a lecturer at Harvard, CEO at Apple, oh and by the way, I am gay” subconsciously the way you will categorize him is not as “teacher at Harvard” or “CEO at apple” but as “a gay.”

Come Back With The Kohinoor, If Not A Medal!

Please stop reading this blog. No, seriously. It doesn’t offer magic fixes, and it will not bring about a change in the country you and I live in. Nor will it stop the hockey players from sucking on the field. Its really sad, we regard Hockey as our national game but lose disgracefully in tournaments. We just can't blame the players for the blemish, the Indian Hockey Federation is equally responsible for the comedown of the game. We all know how well they treat our players. 

Child 1 from Punjab : When I win the Hockey world cup for India I will take off the t-shirt just like Ganguly did!!

Child 2 : You think they will give you t-shirts?

First we win the cricket world cup, suck against England, then do Sri Lanka at their home, all we can interpret is that the game-setters are doing well. Indians can never be consistent at sports unless the walkover-bridge to the stadium collapses (Courtesy: Suresh Kalmadi). Maybe that’s how we succeeded in securing a hundred and one medals at the disgraceful Commonwealth Games. Or we should just thank the queen for not ruling China.

Olympics is the most loved game by India if you don't give a fuck about the Cricket World Cup, the English Premier League, FIFA World Cup, F1, IPL, Ranji Trophy, Deodhar Trophy, Shivaji Park Bat Ball, Dharavi Chawl Gully Cricket, Dhyan Vidyapeeth Khel Utsav.

Touch Me Not? Seriously?

My daily schedule is something like this : Brush; Shit; Bath (alternative weeks); Leave for college; Abuse rickshaw walas, Keep abusing.....

Mumbaikars feeling towards the rick walas is not so bad its just like America’s feeling towards Iraq! The acrimony increased when the rates of the minimum fare was raised from Rs 9 to Rs.11 and then to Rs.12. Now a word is around that the price is going to touch Rs.14. To those who don’t know, the rumor is true. 

I did a detail research on the particular topic. Full of insightful discussions and debates with the bhaiyas, who don’t know the meaning of these words! And after days of rickshaw travels, spending almost all my pocket money in the process, and hours of talks, I came to a conclusion that, rickshaw walas are one group of bizarre people. They can go just on and on! Although that did play to my benefit. I made two of them confess that all rick walas rig their meters. So ironically, the "touch me not" meters are not just touched, but fucked by the rick walas! Maybe that’s precisely why, the government of India has given orders to change the old black meters with the new electronic ones.  Now you don’t need your phone to see the fare during the night.

The Mystery Of The Miraculous Letter

Yesterday, in what will seem like a miracle to most of the Indians, Mamata Banerjee supported an idea of Congress! Can you believe it? She now backs Pranab Mukherjee as the president of India. This miraculous event occurred after Pranab sent a letter to Mamata. Now, it got us all wondering what was in that mysterious letter which changed Mamata’s mind. In our opinion the letter would have been something like this.

"My dearest Mamata,
Hi, hope your liabilities are none and assets are fine as always. I am writing this letter to make you realize that we both are not very different. Our objective is the same, screw India and I have been committed to this object ever since I took the oath as a minister. If I become the president of India, imagine the ways in which we can screw the nation together. Just like that night I screwed into you, believe me sweet heart, the positions will be far more innovative this time. And hey, I need my Kamasutra book back. I have a date with Mayawati next week.

And dear, i have supported you throughout na? When you removed Dinesh Trivedi from post, refuted against FDI and also all your allegations towards CPI (m), when they drew cartoons, spoke freely, sneezed, breathed. Hence all I wish to ask is, why this kolaveri “DIDI”??

Bow Down To Her, Then Rape Her?

I remember my friend saying this when we had gone to fetch him from the airport, “I went to Delhi searching for sex. But had to return empty handed. They are not accustomed to having sex by free consent you see”. My first impulse was to laugh. But now when I think about this, a serious concern hides behind the humour of that joke.

The concern I am talking about, was extensively displayed in the gruesome incident which occurred at Guwahati, Assam. A school girl was molested and tried to be raped by 40 people outside a bar. A number of ironies follow this incident. For one, Guwahati is a place where they don’t worship gods and only believe in goddesses. Secondly, If a woman is married, she cannot bring even a piece of cloth with her. The dowry system is nonexistent. Yes, it was on this land that a school girl was shamelessly and publicly violated. Raising a question, how safe is India for a woman?

India A Land Of "Dumb" And "Dumber"

It wouldn't be absolutely wrong to say that in India, there is noise everywhere. And yes, I use the word “noise” and not sound. In India, if you want to show your devotion towards god, it just cannot happen without woofers, mikes, drums, and other instruments the names of which I don’t even know in English. Of course, if you idolize a minister you have to go around chanting (read shouting) his name on the streets in full blown procession. And obviously, what is an Indian marriage without the high decibel bands. After all they only come once in a long time, how can you not blow off other people’s ear drums? It won’t be called a celebration else. What if Indian festivals, on an average, come at least once every year? We have to ostentatiously show our happiness with celebrations, shows and processions. And they are always incomplete without loud noises which are a sad excuse for music.

The speakers gradually go from playing songs on the god to playing every cheesy item song in existence. And did you know, in India, if the signal’s red or if there is a traffic jam; giving a screeching horn will make the other cars float in the air giving you a clean passage. At least I don’t have any other reasonable explanation of the constant “honk-a-thon” on the roads. Honking is as useful in such circumstances as Narendra Modi is to the Muslim community. And as far as over taking or asking other cars to move, have patience. You’ll be surprised but that’s what major countries outside India do. Else lights will do just fine.

Economic Crisis- Are austerity measures the answer?

The prices are high. Rupee rate is low. Investments are the worse they could ever be. Let’s face it, it’s a crisis. Let’s scrutinize the situation.


The economic crisis had befallen upon the whole of Europe a long time ago. Obviously, the whole world was adversely affected by it. However India, had managed to, more or less distance itself from the crisis. And was growing at a rapid rate! It mainly began after 2003- 04, where in the growth rate shot up from 3% to 5-6 % to directly 8- 9%. However, now, (if you want to believe the government), the crisis seems to have caught up with India. The GDP is expected to grow at 7% in the year ending 2012 which is significantly lower than the 8.4% in year 2011. 


The manufacture growth reduced from 9% in 2011 to 3% in 2012. The trade deficit has increased to 10.6% of GDP(by 56%) between 2010-2011 and 2011-2012. The foreign investors, who used to consider India as one of the prime investing locations have been greatly discouraged and are gradually retreating, mainly due to the collapsing currency. I can just go on and on. But I don’t want to focus on the crisis, but the cause and the solution. 

Voda-Case..!!

(Courtesy: post.jagran.com)

Always it has been, and will always be, the departments in India are never sorted, whether it comes to arranging the messy files on their tables or tricking big buddies in taxation. And, this one, especially is a real brainer. It gets you on your heels and makes you think!

Hutchinson group of companies, a telecom giant with its market operations in a number of nations, was carrying out its Telecom operations in India. Then, another company, Vodafone Essar, acquired 67% stake in Hutchinson group of companies through a number of companies in Netherlands and Cayman Islands. Now, the appeal of the income tax commission is that "Hutchinson group" being an Indian company, the transfer of its any assets should constitute as a tax revenue for the government. But a big fallacy lies in this argument, which we're going to try to point out to you! 

The shares of the company are defined as the share in the share capital of the company, which includes stock except when a distinction between shares and stock is expressed and implied.

Toilet 'Scam'med In UP

Its has always been intriguing to know and Indian ministers have always  been creative enough to invent new scams. Its something we shouldn't be proud of but we have no option but live with . The CWG scam, 2G scam, Adarsh scam would be unhappy and disappointed as there is a new enterant, a rather stenchy one: Toilet Scam -- A case of sheer over-reporting.

This was quite expected,' itna paisa khaya hai toh kahi se to nikalega', hence the 'toilet' scam. It happened at the home of all scams, and one of the most densly populated states, Uttar Pradesh (UP) and this time a Rs.2,900cr was parted with. The money was slowly relished over the past decade. 

The state was to construct 1.71cr toilets in order to end open defecation in India under the Total Sanitation Campaign ( TSC ).But the household census data revealed that only 55 lakh household in UP had access to toilets. Which means 1.6cr toilets are 'nowhere to be found'.  TSC was launched in 1999 in all states and promised to end open defeacation by 2017. It follows a principle of “low to no subsidy” where a nominal subsidy in the form of incentive is given to rural poor households for construction of permanent toilets in their households.

TSC reports VS Actual Census:

TSC reports	Actual Census
TSC reports, there are only 17.50% households without toilets in rural UP.	Census reports that more than 78% of the households do not have access to toilets
TSC reports that two districts in UP, Lakhimpur Kheri and Farrukhabad, where 100% households have toilets.	Wheras, census says that 81.7% and 76.10% households are without toilets in the Lakhimpur Kheri and Farrukhabad  districts respectively.
TSC data says that 89.84% of the households in Lucknow have a toilet	But the census figures say that only 65.6% of households in Lucknow have toilets on their establishments

BWSL Goes Dark...!!

The prestigious bridge which links the Western suburbs with the city and of which every Mumbaikar is proud of; is under trouble, again. The lights on the Bandra-Worli Sea Link do not work..!!! :O

Driving down the sea link in broad daylight isn't a problem, but after sundown, its a nightmare for drivers.Are the MSRDC waiting for an accident to happen? ( I hope the MSRDC officials are reading this while sipping their cup of tea even when a pile of files is kept on their desk, ah! A typical Goverment office scene)


Especially,the Worli end which is narrower than the other parts of the Sea-Link is dangerous as you are blinded by the high beam headlights of the on-coming traffic. Though the Worli end has some of its lamps intact, the bandra end including the perfectly-banked Reclamation track is completely dark.

Mumbai Petr-Trolled....!!!

Troll-- A new word used by the new generation 'guyz' which means fooled..!!! So, now you can guess what I mean by the post title..!! ;-)

In our city, increase in rates of the commodities is inversely proportional to the growth of infrastructure. But the per litre cost of fuel to the consumer is following an exponential graph. People are really fed up and have got themselves used to getting a lesser volume of petrol for the same price in their fuel tanks.  

Protests, rallies, slogans and banners have been of no use and the Aam Aadmi has continued to bear the brunt of the rising fuel rates. Though we never ask for the bill when we get our tank full, whereas we should be asking for a DETAILED bill which would comprise of the VAT , Cess, duties and other charges levied on the amount of fuel we buy. 

Red Bull's Crackdown In India.!!

(Courtesy Red Bull and  myhealthmaster.blogspot.com)

The energy drink which promises to "give you wings" once you consume it, has been under the scanner of the Maharashtra Food And Drug Association (FDA). The officials of the FDA has seized 16.3 Lakh of cans of Red Bull from their premise in Thane and Vikhroli on learning that the caffeine content was between 250-300 ppm (parts per million) whereas the permissible content for carbonated beverages is is 145ppm. 

Red Bull is consumed by youngsters,who use it staying wide open during exam days. It is also consumed with mixing it with alcohol. Manufactures claim that its an energy drink and not a carbonated one. But when you open a can of Red Bull, there is fizz and it contains carbon dioxide. Caffeine is addictive and is commonly used in coffee, tea and soft drinks. Excessive consumption can lead to anxiety, nervousness, insomnia and other various health issues. 

Red Bull makers state, "Red Bull Energy Drink contains about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, 80mg.

The Last Flight....!!

Kingfisher, once known for its grandeur and luxury just dived into a crisis, rather a nose-dive we should say. And boy! Is it looking worse for the Mallya’s or what!!

Tax evasion of rupees 76 crore. Debt of rupees 7,057 crore. 

And as if that wasn't enough, it has made a loss of rupees 6,000 crore. (It looks like people prefer going in for cheaper airlines rather than spending extra bucks to get served by the Kingfisher hostesses.!! )

"Army Tanks Out Of Ammo" Says Chief General VK Singh

General VK Singh, who has been in news for his birth-year issue and the bribery infamy is back under scanner..!

According to Times Now, the letter which was written on March 12, 2012 states that army tanks in the country have run out of ammunition. For a shock and a blow to the government, Army chief General VK Singh had penned a letter to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh stating that the country's security is at risk.

The Army chief has been in news this week as he claimed that he was offered a bribery of Rs 14 crore to clear a batch of sub-standard equipment for the Indian army which included military trucks and other vehicles. Times Now sources have said that the CBI may record his statement in this regard on March 30, 2012. 

Defense minister AK Anthony said that Singh had notified him about the bribe stating that a middleman offered a 14 crore envelope to him , though he declined the offer he did not
 want to pursue the case.

Porn “Stars” in Gujarat Assembly..!!

BJP does it again!! Advani must be so proud!..


Just a couple of days have passed since the issue of Karnataka porn gate, which was an issue of national shame and disgrace, faded out.  And now we have a fresh episode to marvel about! BJP just can’t see the country in honour can it? 

This time, the BJP MP’s have done their ‘job’ in Gujarat assembly! Now let me walk you through the incident. 



The Gujarat assembly was in session. These two ministers, Shankar Chaudhury and Jetha Bharwad were, apparently, getting bored (Either that or seriously sex starved!). So they start watching something in a tablet.

Three(Some) Ministers Watch Porn In K'taka Assembly..!!

Many a times it happens that we are doing something thoughtful and beneficial and it turns out to be a blunder. You are then looked with suspicious eyes.


We all realize and know how infamous our government is, and for which acts and deeds they are famous for.
But this time, it was something disgraceful and horrifying. Like always, they had a prompt answer and justification for their doing.

What looks like a disgraceful and sordid act is actually an honest, misjudged act. I am here to try to present you the other side of the “misjudged” story.